Powerful conversations! Sounds a bit like a cliché. But when we dive in a little deeper it is way beyond a cliché.
What do I mean by powerful? A powerful conversation is an exchange between one or more people that is transformational in nature. This type of conversation captures and shifts the hearts and minds of others.
Why would you want to have that kind of conversation?
The 45 minute, $5 million conversation!
I once asked one of my clients, a general manager in sales, how what he had learned from working with us made a difference in his work. This is what he said:
“My conversations with clients used to be transactional, now they are transformational. It’s not about the widgets I sell anymore, it’s all about the relationship with the person. It’s really exploring and addressing the client’s needs and solving their problems instead of a preset agenda of what to sell. This shift in my thinking has profoundly increased the business I am generating now!”
And those of you who like metrics and figures. One of those conversations led to a $5 million contract generated in a 45 minute conversation.
Of course, the essence of this reflection is not about sales, it just happened that this client worked in that area. However, his answer really hit home with me. That what I do or better where I am pointing is transformational in nature. Now at some level this was nothing new to me, but this was one of those moments where its significance sank in with much greater depth of awareness and appreciation, a deep embodied experience beyond just a mechanical understanding how something works.
So let me ask you this, do you appreciate harmonious and collaborative relationships with others, your loved ones, your friends, your colleagues, your staff, your clients? Are you genuinely interested in making a difference in their lives and being of value to them? Are you in the business of genuinely wanting to help your clients solve their problems rather than just selling your products and services?
With those questions in mind, think of the relationships in your life. Which ones bring you the most joy and commercial return if it is business related? And which ones could do with a little more lovin’ and greater impact by you?
Notice where you point your conversations, from and to. Are you communicating FROM your busy mind or your quiet mind? And are you communicating TO their busy or their quiet mind? Your busy mind is your intellectual or thinking mind and given its nature can cloud your judgement and interfere with being fully connected with the other person and allowing transformation to occur! The quiet mind is the space within. You most likely know that space but may not pay much attention to it. Generally, its when you have little or nothing on your mind. It’s a sense of being in a state of flow where you are fully present in the here and now, just deeper! From that space you will naturally feel a greater sense of connectiveness with others and others with you, there is an absence of judgement, ideas and insights come easily, problems solve themselves, people around you experience a greater sense of wellbeing and often transformational shifts in their thinking with seemingly little effort from you other than showing up with your quiet mind.
Take it for a little test drive, no skill required just a shift in awareness!
Next time you have a conversation with someone point your awareness behind your thinking mind and from there, point it to behind their thinking mind. Although the conversation will appear to be thinking mind to thinking mind, there will be another dimension in play that will do the heavier lifting of the interaction.
You may find that your thinking mind is trying to rationalise and make sense of this process. Allow it to do that without resistance. You may treat it like a little child having a temper tantrum, don’t give it more attention than it deserves.
The first pancake might be lumpy!
Have fun experimenting with this process. This exercise does not require to learn a skill, all it needs is a shift in awareness. If you first find it a little clunky and bumpy, think of it this way, the first pancake might be a little lumpy. As you become more aware of this shift and the deeper awareness behind the quiet mind it will become more obvious when you are in it and when you are not. And more importantly the difference it will make in having a powerful and transformational conversation.
I trust that what you have been reading has aroused the curiosity! To find out more about how you can have powerful conversations or simply reach out to start a conversation contact Mike at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit www.mikeschwarzer.com.
I look forward to serving you with my next reflection!
to your highest learning and growth
About Mike Schwarzer
Mike is a Transformation Professional and Learning Leader who helps leaders and organisations to solve the problems that they have not been able to solve elsewhere. He works with the underlying mental, behavioural and deeper innate dynamics that drive people’s and organisations’ thinking and actions. They learn how to tap into their inner and outer capabilities in transformational ways and develop behaviours and qualities that are flexible and supportive of the challenges of an increasingly uncertain and complex world.